“Gloria” will Never Endorse Risa :-)

Ito po ang speech ni “President Gloria Macasakal Ayoko” on her non-endorsement of Rep. Risa Hontiveros’ senatorial bid. The speech was delivered during the Opening Ceremony of AKBAYAN’s 4th Regular Congress on August 14, 2009 at Club Filipino.

GLORIA MACASAKAL AYOKO:
Senator Jovy Salonga; Senator Noynoy Aquino; Professor Randy David, my future opponent in the second district of Pampanga… good luck to you; members and officers of AKBAYAN na alam ko naman na ayaw nyo talaga sa akin; ladies and gentlemen, a pleasant… hellooo.

For the longest time AKBAYAN especially your representatives in congress have been a pain the ass but I have found ways to get back at you guys. But past is past. Natutuwa ako dahil sa wakas ay natanggap na ng AKBAYAN that I am, after all, a great president. This opportunity to speak to you today is a concrete step towards national unity, reconciliation, beautification, glorification and evaporation. Salamat AKBAYAN at na-realize nyo na that I am not really guilty of any crime. Ang Hello Garci, NBN-ZTE at fertilizer scam ay mga minor lapse in judgment lamang. Very minor lang yan at wala naman talagang malisya tulad ng pagpili kay Carlo Caparas bilang national artist at ang one million pesos na bill para sa dinner sa New York. In fact, kahit ang pagpunta ko dito ay lapse in judgment din. For this, please allow me to say… I am sorry.

Let me tell you that I am not looking forward to the senatorial candidacy of this certain Risa Hontiveros. Nasa kongreso palang siya, masakit na siya sa bangs. Pati ang statement of assets and liabilities ko ay talaga namang pinakikialaman. Don’t get me wrong I have no ill feelings for this Risa Hontiveros. Its just that she is not my type. She represents everything that I am not. I have feeling she is my anti-matter. She is tall on virtues while I am short… on everything. St. Scholastica siya noong high school, Assumption naman ako. Si Risa laging nakikiisa sa sambayanan, samantalang ako laging pinagkakaisahan ng sambayanan. Si Risa nakulong na, ako… hindi pa. Si Risa byuda, ako… sana. FG I love you. At higit sa lahat, si Risa magsesenador na, ako magiging kongresista.

But I have to give this Risa Hontiveros an A for persistence. Kahit binomba ng bumbero sa mendiola, kahit hinuli ng mga pulis sa welcome rotonda at kahit tinanggalan ko pa ng pork barrel ay hindi pa rin natitinag at tuloy parin ang paglaban sa akin. Risa Hontiveros kung sa mga SONA ko hindi ka nakikinig, pwes ngayon makinig ka. I have three words for you,

I… will… never… endorse… you… for… senator… in… 2010.

I, thank you. 🙂

Ang masasabi ko lang… BUTI NA LANG AT HINDI.

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“Gloria” will Never Endorse Risa :-)

4 thoughts on ““Gloria” will Never Endorse Risa :-)

  1. narsmanang ay nagsasabing:

    ang ganda naman po ng speech. sana narinig ko ng live. 🙂

    Taroogs – korek! hagalpakan talaga yung mga tao. galing niyang impersonator (very witty din yung script) 🙂

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