Thinkin ’bout the F word…

No. Not that F word… the other F word — Feminism.

Recent events in my life have compelled me to review my position vis-a-vis this very complicated word.

First off, what does Feminism mean to me, personally?

Of course, there are many schools of thought when it comes to Feminism and I won’t be so arrogant as to claim even a basic understanding of any single one — wala akong K na mag-expound on the topic kaya i-google nyo na lang yung word at tiyak lalabas ang lahat ng mga types nito. Suffice it to say that these views range from the very liberal to the very radical; and their adherents, from the “parang si inay lang” to the “inangkupow ang scary” variety.

So where do I locate myself in this Feminism spectrum?

Well, like any Pinoy male who fancies himself to be a “progressive” (now there’s another perplexing term), I believed that I was considerablyleft of center,” at least when compared to most men my age. I’ve attended at least three “gender-sensitivity” seminars, for chrissakes! That should count for something, right?

Granted, I didn’t attend out of my own volition (read: required ang attendance. hehehe…), but it wasn’t as if I didn’t take them seriously. Pati nga sa role-plays sa seminar ay give-na-give ako eh. Plus, several personal positions of mine clearly indicate a “feminist-like” streak, positions like being:

  • Pro Choice;
  • Pro Divorce;
  • Pro Same-Sex Marriage; and,
  • Pro Family-Planning, among others.

But do these suffice to make me a Feminist?

I thought they did; but, apparently, they don’t… not nearly enough, it seems. What’s more, I’m now having serious doubts as to whether I’ll ever be a “real” Feminist.

Kunsabagay, even way back then, as I listened to the resource person’s lecture during my very first “gender sensitivity” seminar, there was already that feeling that I’ll never be able to measure up to the seemingly stringent standards of her (or her organization’s, to be exact) brand of Feminism.

Now, three “gender-sensitivity” seminars and two decades later, that nagging feeling has finally transformed into a cold realization — I am definitely beyond redemption. I will never be a Feminist, period.

At kahit magta-tambling pa ko’t magtatakbo ng hubad, this is as good as it gets. And, frankly, that’s good enough for me. At least hindi ako in denial, or worse, hypocritical

Ang problema lang, paano kung biglang bumaba ang pagtingin ng ilang kaibigan, kasama at kaopisina mo sa iyong pagkatao kapag nalaman nilang hindi ka pala Feminist?

Paano kung dahil dito ay ayaw ka na nilang maging kasama, kaopisina, o kaibigan?

Anong gagawin mo?

Ewan ko… pero ika nga dun sa ending nung awitin ni Gary Granada:

Kung talagang ayaw mo na sa akin…

Ayaw ko na rin sayo.

😦

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Thinkin ’bout the F word…

10 thoughts on “Thinkin ’bout the F word…

  1. Happy bertdey pala ma fwend. Di mo man ako ipagtanggol sa karahasan ng mundo, friends pa rin tayo. Ako na bahala sa sarili ko. Magpainom ka naman!

    Taroogs – kala ko ba ikaw na bahala sa sarili mo… e di pati inom damay dun. πŸ™‚

  2. Aaron ay nagsasabing:

    Happy birthday nga pala. Hehehe…

    Ay, eh, malaking problema yun. Wag naman nating gawing fascade yung ideological persuasions natin sa ating tendency na maging bigot. Baka sa pagkakataong ‘yan, kailangang may pagpuna sa mga taong nagmamata in the basis of conformity, or lack thereof, sa kanilang prinsipyo.

    Attached to the term feminist is a heavy identity mark, much like marxist, or even socialist. Parang may lumalabas na “checklist” sa isip ko kung may magsabing “I am a feminist/ marxist/ socialist.” Pero, as a collective, we don’t see all of us being feminists, marxists or socialists. We don’t turn into those overnight, or after having listened a basic orientation seminar. But we share one “basic” no-brainer: we believe in just change. Feminism starts in problematizing the existing perceptions of gender roles and gender stratification, if these efforts become reduced to stigmatization and name-calling – so much so that you get branded anti-feminist if you don’t measure up to someone else’s brand of feminism – then may problema tayo.

    Pero Nold, what is happening now, I still think it isn’t a feminist vs. anti/non-feminist issue. πŸ˜€

    Taroogs – so, ano naman ang identity mark ng isang “atenist”? πŸ™‚

  3. bong ay nagsasabing:

    Do not lose sleep over (self-, or other imposed) definitions. All that matters is the act, the performative, that β€œa posteriori” thing. as that late old French guy said, it’s the existence that defines what one is. Concretely by way of an example: ano ang isang individual who calls herself progressive (radical, even) pero rides roughshod over justice as fairness, the presumption of innocence, due process, rules of evidence, etc.

    Progressive? Mwahahaha sa akin, fascist in red mufti yun, kahit pa sabihin nyang feminist siya. (pero who knows, baka may feminist fascist talaga.)

    Taroogs – boom!

  4. bong ay nagsasabing:

    hello, noldy and mang badoy!

    alin yung malabo? yung comment na may marxism, and all that lefty stuff, o yun sa akin? kung itong huli, pasensya na po, medyo tumaas lang BP ko kahapon pagka-basa ko nitong blog entry : naisip ko lang ang ilang mga bagay. gusto ko lang sabihin ay yung kilos o gawa ay siyang nagbibigay palaman sa kung ano o sino man ang isang tao kahit ano pang mga self-definitions/labels ang ikabit niya sa dibdib, balikat, baseball cap, backpack, front door, bookcover, etc etc. deny a person his rights….then better quit all that blah about freedom, democracy, etc. fascist acts don’t make for a marxist, socialist, democratic person/org. ah, big words, sabi nga ni nietzsche. be suspicious of them big words because madalas they mean the opposite.

    Taroogs – naisip ko nga rin minsan, bong, if people label themselves with self-created… well, labels, then they are accountable only to themselves, di ba? which is very convenient, i think.

    sad but convenient 😦

  5. maniwala ka’t sa hindi, may isang theology subject kami about feminism. isa sila sa mga nagpauso ng suspicion theology na umuusisa sa mga ginamit na kataga’t paglalarawang mapang-usig sa loob ng bibliya. kakaiba ang approach nila sa semiotics at sa text-form criticism ng scripture. May ibang groundbreaking, well-researched at nakakapa-andar ng utak ang sinasabi. May iba naman na mas katawa-tawa pa sa lantang kulangot ang common sense.
    Ang mako-conclude ko eh ang feminism ay parang tinda sa palengke lang. Meron kang mga dapat bilhin. Meron ding di mo kailangang pansinin.

    Taroogs – intriguing term yun, brotherutoy — yung “suspicion theology.” anong suggested reading mo? at tungkol naman sa “feminism as paninda sa palengke” metaphor… anong masasabi mo sa mga tindera na ipinagpipilitan ang paninda nila kahit meron ka nang nakita na mas mura/mas sariwa? πŸ™‚

  6. Bihirangsumimangot ay nagsasabing:

    Ang masasabi ko lang diyan, ang batong banayad ang gaspang ay nakakakinis ng kutis.
    Kapag sumobra ang gaspang, nakakasugat.

    (Hindi ko rin ma-gets ang sinabi ko kahit ilang beses pasadahan.)

    Taroogs – e kung ipukol na lang yung bato, imbes na i-kiskis… masarap pa rin? πŸ™‚

  7. suspicion theology ang tawag sa mga theology na nagcha-challenge sa conventional and even the doctrinal concepts of God and religion. Kasama dyan ang feminist theology, liberation theology at “black slave” theology. Astig ang mga theology na ito, refreshing ang approach at medyo tagilid sa tingin ng Magisterium.ΓΌ

    readings? wala akong particular na book title pero you can look for these feminist theologians: Catherine LaCugna, ELisabeth Johnson and Rosemary Radford Reuther.

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