No. Not that F word… the other F word — Feminism.
Recent events in my life have compelled me to review my position vis-a-vis this very complicated word.
First off, what does Feminism mean to me, personally?
Of course, there are many schools of thought when it comes to Feminism and I won’t be so arrogant as to claim even a basic understanding of any single one — wala akong K na mag-expound on the topic kaya i-google nyo na lang yung word at tiyak lalabas ang lahat ng mga types nito. Suffice it to say that these views range from the very liberal to the very radical; and their adherents, from the “parang si inay lang” to the “inangkupow ang scary” variety.
So where do I locate myself in this Feminism spectrum?
Well, like any Pinoy male who fancies himself to be a “progressive” (now there’s another perplexing term), I believed that I was considerably “left of center,” at least when compared to most men my age. I’ve attended at least three “gender-sensitivity” seminars, for chrissakes! That should count for something, right?
Granted, I didn’t attend out of my own volition (read: required ang attendance. hehehe…), but it wasn’t as if I didn’t take them seriously. Pati nga sa role-plays sa seminar ay give-na-give ako eh. Plus, several personal positions of mine clearly indicate a “feminist-like” streak, positions like being:
- Pro Choice;
- Pro Divorce;
- Pro Same-Sex Marriage; and,
- Pro Family-Planning, among others.
But do these suffice to make me a Feminist?
I thought they did; but, apparently, they don’t… not nearly enough, it seems. What’s more, I’m now having serious doubts as to whether I’ll ever be a “real” Feminist.
Kunsabagay, even way back then, as I listened to the resource person’s lecture during my very first “gender sensitivity” seminar, there was already that feeling that I’ll never be able to measure up to the seemingly stringent standards of her (or her organization’s, to be exact) brand of Feminism.
Now, three “gender-sensitivity” seminars and two decades later, that nagging feeling has finally transformed into a cold realization — I am definitely beyond redemption. I will never be a Feminist, period.
At kahit magta-tambling pa ko’t magtatakbo ng hubad, this is as good as it gets. And, frankly, that’s good enough for me. At least hindi ako in denial, or worse, hypocritical…
Ang problema lang, paano kung biglang bumaba ang pagtingin ng ilang kaibigan, kasama at kaopisina mo sa iyong pagkatao kapag nalaman nilang hindi ka pala Feminist?
Paano kung dahil dito ay ayaw ka na nilang maging kasama, kaopisina, o kaibigan?
Anong gagawin mo?
Ewan ko… pero ika nga dun sa ending nung awitin ni Gary Granada:
Kung talagang ayaw mo na sa akin…
Ayaw ko na rin sayo.